This morning I woke up 4 minutes early. That might not seem like much, but I treasure every moment I am asleep, and I would have enjoyed those minutes if THE CAT WOULD JUST LEAVE ME BE. If we don't feed her early enough, she has a whole process for getting one of us to get up. First she will jump on me and sit on my bladder. If I roll over, like today, she'll jump on the entertainment system and start chewing on my plants. When that did nothing but make me yell at her from bed, she went to the dining room and jumped on the table. So I got up, gave her a tray of kibble, and went to do my bathroom thing.
But that was not good enough, and she followed me around as I made my coffee, chirping, squeaking, and sighing. I GET IT, PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE CAT, I GET IT. So she got her half-can of wet food, with some l-lysine mixed in. Now she's all, I'm a cat, sitting in the sun, I'm licking my snatch to clean myself, hur hur hur.
Once in a while, I'll yell near her, "I know you're actually a person stuck in a cat's body." No response yet, but I'm confident.
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